Healing and Transformation: EMDR Therapy for Individuals Affected by Sexual Assault in the Cycle Of Violence
Trigger warning: this post contains mentions of sexual assault and therapy for those that cause harm to others.
It started as a sincere curiosity and desire for connection
I’ve seen this so many times: a young person, naturally curious about sex and their sexuality, begins experimenting with peers via social media and perhaps goes online to explore deeper. Trust gets built through conversations and it feels like it’s safe to send photos, messages, and possibly even meet up. What starts as innocent and natural exploration can turn into the onramp to participating in illicit and illegal activities. Kids become teens, teens become adults, and overnight turning a year older can turn the same behavior into something that could follow you around for the rest of your life. The same behavior of messaging becomes grooming and trading photos becomes a sexual crime.
Many of these situations that start as curious kids happen to folks that have little education or outlet to explore themselves in general, much less their sexuality and desires. Lack of guidance and mentorship from trusted adults leaves kids vulnerable to predators, and because of the cycle of violence, the curious kids can grow into the ones causing harm to others.
At the heart of every therapeutic journey lies compassion and understanding. As a trauma specialist, I recognize the complexity and sensitivity of the experiences of individuals who have been both victims and perpetrators of sexual violence. My aim is to provide a safe and non-judgmental space where healing can take place, without condoning violence or unhealthy behaviors. In this blog, I’ll explore how EMDR therapy can support those who have endured such profound challenges on their path to healing and transformation.
Understanding the Complexity and Nuance of the Escalation
Sexual assault is a deeply complex issue for individuals who have been both victims and perpetrators. As part of the treatment for individuals that have crossed the threshold from curiosity to harm, it is important to reflect on the intricate nature of trauma. We acknowledge the pain, confusion, and guilt that may arise from these experiences, and grieve the lack of compassionate guidance that might have allowed for a different outcome. It is essential to approach these discussions with empathy, recognizing that trauma can influence behavioral patterns and perpetuate harm. My intention is to address and support healing while maintaining a steadfast commitment to the well-being of all involved.
EMDR Therapy as a Comprehensive Approach
EMDR therapy, an evidence-based approach for trauma treatment, offers a comprehensive framework to support individuals affected by sexual assault as both victims and perpetrators. This therapy focuses on processing and integrating traumatic memories while promoting personal growth, insight, and behavior change. It creates a space where individuals can explore their experiences, confront their emotions, and ultimately foster healing. EMDR can also help in untangling the emotional connection to certain behaviors, reducing the likelihood of relapse and the fear of having to struggle through urges with white knuckles. EMDR therapy can help heal your sense of self throughout the process.
Many individuals that have experienced the shift from victim to perpetrator feel incredible guilt and fear that they are hopelessly broken and pathologically sick in the head. While the behaviors are clinically relevant and require therapeutic assistance to deal with, these clients are not hopeless, sociopaths destined to harm others forever. EMDR can help someone see that the current behaviors are an escalation of previous circumstances, not a deep, dark evil that was lying in wait the whole time. We work across the lifespan to reprocess memories and show a more honest and realistic perspective of the behaviors that have escalated over time.
Healing for Victims
EMDR therapy provides a pathway for victims of sexual assault to process their traumatic experiences. It acknowledges the emotional pain, shame, guilt, and self-blame often associated with being a victim. Through EMDR, individuals can reprocess and reframe their experiences, promote self-compassion, and rebuild a positive sense of self. By addressing the wounds inflicted upon them, healing becomes possible and the younger versions of you that were harmed in this process are allowed to be grieved for. For a lot of my clients, they feel like they don’t deserve to be able to acknowledge that they were harmed, or it’s too painful to acknowledge how deeply they were affected. EMDR gives these clients the chance to show compassion and empathy to the many versions of themselves over time to help them understand how things got to be like they are now. Being able to have that compassion allows individuals to be ready to step into accountability for their actions.
Accountability for Doing Harm
Accountability and responsibility are crucial aspects of healing for those who have harmed others. EMDR therapy supports individuals who have acted as perpetrators in confronting their actions, taking responsibility, and developing empathy for their victims. When a perpetrator was once a victim themselves, their current actions are likely something called “compulsive reenactment” where they are trying to regain lost power or get a better outcome by putting themselves into similar situations where they were taken advantage of. When those power dynamics shift, this can feel satisfying to a traumatized individual, but this often makes someone else a victim – so the cycle continues.
Quality EMDR therapy guides them towards understanding the consequences of their behavior, fostering a commitment to growth and change. Along with reckoning with the past EMDR therapy helps with present triggers and urges by helping to develop healthy coping skills, boundaries, and future strategies to prevent future harm.
Reintegration and Building Healthy Relationships
Reintegrating into society and forming healthy relationships can be challenging for individuals who have experienced sexual assault from both perspectives. It can feel awkward to interact and seek out relationships, especially intimate relationships. EMDR therapy plays a vital role in helping individuals develop a healthier understanding of relationships, boundaries, and communication. It fosters self-reflection, empathy, and accountability, thereby promoting the establishment of healthy, consensual relationships and behaviors moving forward.
While ongoing psychotherapy is a vital part of recovering from this harm, EMDR therapy jumpstarts the process and can help solidify healthier beliefs about oneself and what types or relationships are appropriate for them.
Getting the Support You Need
My commitment as a certified EMDR therapist is to provide a safe and compassionate environment for individuals affected by sexual assault as both victims and perpetrators. We encourage those who have experienced such complexities to seek professional help and support on their journey toward healing and transformation. EMDR therapy offers a powerful and effective approach, promoting personal growth, insight, and positive change. Together, we can navigate the path toward healing, fostering a future free from violence and filled with empathy, understanding, and healthy relationships.
Note: This blog aims to provide information and support, but it is important to seek professional help from qualified therapists who specialize in trauma and sexual assault. Resources such as hotlines, support groups, and counseling services can offer further assistance and guidance.