Masking After Trauma

Think about situations where you’ve felt like you couldn’t be fully yourself. Maybe it’s happened in school, at work, or even with your family. That hiding of parts of yourself is called “masking”.

Masking refers to the tendency to hide or suppress one's true self to meet the expectations of others or to cope with challenging circumstances. Masking is a common coping strategy for individuals who have experienced trauma or attachment wounds. In this article, we'll delve into why people mask, the difference between "code-switching" and "masking," and how EMDR therapy can help individuals unmask and embrace their authentic selves.

Why People Mask

Many individuals who have experienced trauma or attachment wounds develop a need to mask their true selves as a survival strategy or a way to protect themselves from further harm, rejection, or judgment. Masking involves presenting a false self to the world, hiding vulnerabilities, emotions, or aspects of one's identity that may be perceived as unacceptable or unsafe.

Trauma and attachment wounds can create deep-rooted feelings of shame, unworthiness, and fear.

Masking becomes a way to navigate the world and gain a sense of control or acceptance. It allows individuals to adapt to different environments, fit in, or avoid triggering situations. However, masking often comes at a cost, as it disconnects individuals from their authentic selves and inhibits their ability to form genuine connections with others. 

While masking usually begins as a way to seek safety and acceptance, prolonged reliance on masking as a coping strategy often has the opposite effect in people’s lives because it prevents them from having authentic relationships and additional feelings of guilt or same can develop for hiding one’s true self when they long to feel connected and accepted. Other issues like imposter syndrome and perfectionism can develop with masking behaviors throughout one’s lifetime.

Masking vs. Code-Switching

It's important to differentiate between masking and code-switching. Code-switching refers to the ability to adapt one's language or behavior in different social or cultural contexts. It can be a natural and healthy way of navigating diverse environments. Masking, on the other hand, involves suppressing or hiding core aspects of oneself out of fear, shame, or a need for self-preservation.

EMDR Can Help You Unmask

So, how can EMDR therapy help individuals unmask and reclaim their authentic selves? EMDR therapy is a powerful approach that targets the underlying traumas and attachment wounds that contribute to masking behaviors. By reprocessing memories, individuals can release the negative beliefs, emotions, and self-perceptions that drive the need to mask. EMDR can also install new, positive beliefs to help folks decrease their likelihood of utilizing masking for future situations that involve stress.

EMDR therapy helps individuals explore their true selves, reconnect with their authentic emotions, and heal the wounds that led to masking. It supports the development of self-compassion, self-acceptance, and a deeper understanding of one's inherent worthiness. Through the therapeutic process, clients can build resilience, let go of limiting beliefs, and cultivate a sense of safety and authenticity in expressing who they truly are.

EMDR therapy also addresses the relational aspect of masking. It can help individuals heal from attachment wounds, develop healthier boundaries, and navigate relationships authentically. Many clients can better articulate their needs and desires in relationships after EMDR treatment, and the baseline for how others treat them often increases because they have a renewed sense of self-worth. By unmasking, clients can establish more genuine connections, experience greater intimacy, and build healthier support networks.

Unmasking is a Process

The journey of unmasking is an empowering and transformative process. EMDR therapy offers a path towards embracing your authentic self, letting go of shame and self-judgment, and reclaiming your inherent worthiness. Remember, seeking the support of a qualified EMDR therapist is essential on this journey of healing and self-discovery.